Last week was an unusual Thanksgiving week, but a good one. As noted in my previous post, my Mamaw went to Heaven on last Wednesday morning about 9:30 a.m. My mom, dad, Karen (one of her caregivers), Fred (the hospice nurse), and I were there for her final breath. We grieved, but it was so exciting to know that her last breath here on earth ushered her into eternal life in Heaven...with no Alzheimers, no pain, no tears...just catching up with our loved ones gone before and worshiping her Lord forever. So many things happened...
I will only post this little part because I know Mamaw would totally get a hoot and a laugh from this. On Monday night before Mamaw died, she had already entered into a nonresponsive state where she was breathing shallow, but her eyes were fixed and her body was shutting down. In this stage, because your body is trying to rid itself of everything, you can develop a severe case of bad breath (basically death coming out of your mouth...pleasant thought huh?). Anyway, we were saying our goodbyes that night to go home and Cody went over and kissed Mamaw on the cheek. When he turned around, his eyes were kind of wet and he kind of shook his head. My mom told him that she was sorry but Mamaw's breath was real bad because of the state she is in. And he said, "I was wondering because it really reeks." Tactful no, honest yes.
I really loved singing to Mamaw that night because I know she heard us and she always loved to hear us sing.
Tuesday, I spent most of the afternoon in Mamaw's room with some other family members talking about alot of things, especially Mamaw. It was good because we very rarely get the chance to do that other than holidays when it is so loud and busy, you can't really talk about things. Mamaw was still hanging on, and we surmised that she was holding out for some Thanksgiving turkey. I kept waiting every night for my phone to ring in the middle of the night, but it didn't.
Then Wednesday morning, daddy called and said "we think Mamaw is going." I rushed over and made it in time to see her take her last breath. It was very peaceful and she did not struggle...which to people that love her, we are very thankful. We waited for her kids to get there, and then the funeral home came and got her. The room seemed eerily empty after that...nothing could fill that space. My mom and dad, and my aunt & uncle went to the funeral home later that day to make arrangements. It was going to be a celebration of her life.
Wednesday night when Lisa and her family arrived, we stayed up late and had fun playing with the youngest cousin in our family right now, Jordan, and helping Allison perfect her new "married" signature:
Even Tex got in on the action. Then, we have sort of developed some odd family ritual:
Thursday we did our part of the meal at home before going over to mom and dad's...and the boys enjoyed doing their part. Of course, we had to make the only stuffing Steve will eat which I give him grief over every Thanksgiving.
We enjoyed Thanksgiving with lots of family around. My cousin, Jamie, and I were responsible for carving the turkeys this year and neither of us knew what we were doing...but it was all gone, so I guess we did okay.
We ate, and ate, and ate...
(Yes, that's an ironing board...and yes, our family is somewhat redneck)
played some football (even the dogs got in on the action)...
watched some football,
had some wheelchair races (only does the Ranch have enough wheelchairs for this!)...
played charades (somehow we always end up playing charades)...
This is how daddy normally looks during charades. He's not really that into it as you can tell.
Friday was a busy day with working on the video for Mamaw's service, working on the bulletin for her service, practicing our songs for the service, and trying to find suitable clothes for my boys to wear...they don't dress up much, so it's a challenge. We went to her viewing as a family around 2, and then all went to lunch together. That was a lot of fun spending some more time with alot of family. Her viewing was Friday night and we had many family and friends attend. She was really loved, and it showed.
Saturday was about the coldest day we've had to date, and the wind was blowing unusually strong that day with gray skies looming overhead. It provided a somber backdrop for her graveside service, and even though I am happy she is in Heaven, I am sad that I will no longer get to see her earthly body here, and that my children will no longer get to be with her.
After the graveside service, the boys asked to see the "hole." This, among other things, is a death mystery for most children and I have always thought the mystery and the thoughts your mind can conjer up is much worse than knowing and seeing the truth, so I knelt down to pull the tarp back to show them the hole and was explaining about it. Before long, I had a crowd of kids (and some adults) gathered round who wanted to see. Then as we were saying goodbye to some friends who had attended, we had a funny conversation about the "mysteries" involving death we have all encountered as children...from thinking we see the dead person breathing to being scared to touch them for fear that they will move. For some reason, I have a memory that my grandfather was in his casket with his eyes open even though I know they would never do that. Weird.
We left the graveside to go to the church for lunch, and then had Mamaw's memorial service. I think it was very sweet, and definitely gave honor to the great lady she was. My mom gave a little bio of her life, and she was so strong to be able to do that...I admire her. Then my sisters and I got to sing with the original "Girls for Christ" group. When my nieces were little girls, they used to write songs and sing them to us when we would get together for holidays. They would giggle all the way through them usually, but we got a great kick out of it. We named them "Girls for Christ", and I even made custom t-shirts for them one Christmas. We still joke about them going on the road in their tour bus...with their t-shirts of course. All the boy cousins want to be their band...they've even picked their parts.
Anyway, the girls really do sing sweet, and we all sang the song "Legacy" which talks about wanting to leave a legacy that people will remember of choosing to love and pointing to Christ enough to make a mark on things...of leaving an offering...and she did. She chose love always...and she left an offering of servitude to others. Dad talked about the woman who anointed Jesus with a very expensive perfume, and Jesus told others she did what she could to show her love for Him. And Mamaw did that...she never sought the limelight but was always willing to work behind the scenes. And then he related her to the Proverbs 31 woman...and her children rise up and call her blessed. I'm always encouraged when I leave a service like that...to be a better person, to love more, to spend more time with family.
Saturday night we went with a group of family to see Four Christmases...and we laughed and laughed. Dysfunctional families are all around us, and we know in our own way, we share some of those traits. And it's good to laugh about it.
What a great way to spend Thanksgiving...giving thanks for one of the sweetest persons I've known and giving thanks for family.
On Sunday, mom wanted her picture made with the sons-in-law. They gave their best "JC Penney Catalog" pose.
And this just proves how very redneck we actually are. Cody made a kite to fly...out of a garbage bag.
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