Dear Cody & Caleb...

Dear Cody & Caleb,

A few days ago your dad and I celebrated our 15th year of being married to each other. As we told you in prayer time that night, it hasn't always been days of cupcakes and lollipops... a few days have been licorice...really black, nasty licorice. But I can tell you this... that we love each other more today than we did on that Labor Day weekend back in 1995. Lots of people say that, but it's really true. Looking back now, we barely knew each other. But God has been so good to us...and even though we've both made some pretty big mistakes, He's used them for good and brought us closer together. He's the yen to my yang (even though we aren't Chinese), and I'm the creamer in his coffee (even though he doesn't drink coffee). There have been lots of good and fun, and goofy times...and those are tucked away in my love memory bank.

I am thankful for your dad. From day one, he stepped up to his role of provider and protector masterfully. He is a hard worker, diligent in gaining favor with his employer because of his ethics and honesty at work, has a good reputation, is a loyal friend, is a good son and son-in-law, and a good brother and brother-in-law. I think his shining accomplishment so far has been his role of daddy...and you boys are so blessed to have him as your father. I love how he protects and nurtures you, but also how he gently nudges you to spread your wings to try new things and soar to new heights. He is a great picture of the way your Heavenly father loves you.

Tonight I am praying for your future wives. I'm hopeful that it's SEVERAL years away, but I already have a sweet picture of both of them in my thoughts. I pray that God is already molding them to be the helpers that you both need, and that most of all they are falling in love with Jesus more every day. I am praying that you will continue to grow and become great men who look a little bit like your dad, and a whole lot like your Father.

I love you,

Mama

Fourteen Days

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since I have slept in my big king size bed, worked in a one-person home office with nothing but the sound of iTunes or FoxNews in the background, gone to lunch with my sweet hubby and sat on the same side of the booth playing Words with Friends together, and kissed my two sweet punks before they went to bed. A long two weeks. It is true that the simple ‘tasks’ of life seem so much more precious when you don’t get to do them.

Fourteen days into the tour and I laugh about the list I actually wrote down of things I wanted to accomplish on this tour. Blog, work on getting pictures organized in my computer, take pictures of each new city, and other things I won’t even post because it seems so outlandishly ridiculous now that I’m sitting here fourteen days later with ONE blog post under my belt and literal days where I did not step one foot out of the venue in Different City, USA…much less take a picture. Where did the time go? Oh.my.gosh. Life on the road is so much different than what it looked like in my head…and what it looks like in yours.

Here are some observations from my first two weeks…

*There is NO private time…none…nada…zilch. MAYBE when you go to the toilet, but even then, you’re not guaranteed a private stall, or that the bus bathroom door does not open either by accident or on purpose while you’re sitting on the toilet. This is hard for a girl who likes her alone time.

*I can sleep on a moving vehicle. This is a shock to my husband I know…because of the fact that I don’t even like to let him drive when it’s raining because I need to feel in control of the vehicle. Baby…I have not once stayed up and sat next to the bus driver to make sure he doesn’t veer off the road or stop in time. Aren’t you proud of me?

*It is hard to accomplish even the smallest list of To-Do’s while sharing an office (and I use the word “office” very loosely) with 6-7 other people…and a host of other people coming in and out of the “office” all day long for various reasons. Although difficult to get things accomplished, this has become one of my favorite things and something I discovered I miss about working in an office with other humans.

*Although the artists do get some down time during the day working around interviews, sound checks, etc., the crew and production staff literally work from the time the buses roll into the venue in the morning until they roll out of the venue at night. I’m not saying they are rolling steel all day or performing surgery, but still available all day long...usually 7 or 8 a.m. until midnight. These are long days people.

*The dressing rooms at the venues are always a surprise as to how clean or dirty they will be. One of the crew guys made the joke by saying that as soon as you even walk into the arena at Billings, you instantly contract syphilis. After seeing that girls dressing room/shower area, I’m not sure he’s much off. Two words…shower shoes. Need I say more?

*My food schedule is wacky. I don’t usually eat breakfast…which is okay for me. Then I eat lunch in catering around noon or 12:30. Dinner is served from 5 to around 6:30, but I start my evening responsibilities at open doors, so I cannot eat dinner then. Which means I’m eating dinner at midnight usually with after-show food. That in itself could pose lots of issues…but thankfully it’s been okay.

*I’ve already seen someone in their underwear…but I won’t tell who. Our bus is the bus with girls on it so people are used to not being undressed on that bus. But sometimes I have to go to the MercyMe bus for things, so I always yell “girl on the bus” when I get on…but evidently I didn’t yell loud enough one time. Let’s just say…it brings workplace unity to a whole ‘nother level.

*Some of the most fun I’ve had is at night when we get on the bus to leave for our next city. I am sharing a bus with eleven other people consisting of Stacie, a pretty, young girl from Franklin, TN. who coordinates the VIP’s for the shows; Kyle, a young geek from Sacramento, CA who helps with getting the show online every night for viewers at home to watch; Francesca Battistelli, and her drummer hubby (who are newlyweds), and their crew of two; and Fee Band which is Steve Fee and three band members and their crew. It is a great mix of people…and some super nice and funny guys. We usually sit around in the front lounge until around 2 or later…until we can’t keep our eyes open…just talking, laughing, and eating (those guys are constantly looking for food to eat).

*Days off are a welcome break from work…and usually the only time I get to see the cities. I’ve enjoyed getting to see some of Casper WY, Spokane WA, Ashland OR, and today, Sacramento CA. It’s been so wonderful to step off the bus and see mountains, or look out my hotel window and see a river in the middle of a forest area. It just reminds me of how creative our God is, and how very, very blessed I am.

*I feel very blessed to be a part of the ministry of the Roadshow. Like someone mentioned on Sunday during our “church”, we tend to count the success of the show by how many people came, or how much merch was sold, but the stories of the people who came and were blessed, or hear how their lives were changed by what they heard… that’s the true success of the Roadshow…and I love that God is right in the middle of it all.

*I miss my friends. I miss my shower. I miss my mom and dad, and sisters…and nieces and nephews. I miss my Abby. I miss my sweet punks…and I miss my Mr. McWonderful. ‘Missing’ is undoubtedly the hardest thing about what I’m doing. In the words of TobyMac, “baby hold on…just another day or two…” And that’s what I’m doing…holding on until I get a few days closer to holding all three of my babies.

I Thought Twice...and I Did it Anyway

**Update: I tried to add pictures to this post until today and could not...so I'm posting anyway. Hopefully I'll get some pictures to work later.

Today was day one of my big adventure. About 6 weeks ago, it was decided that I would go on The Rock & Worship Roadshow as Tour Accountant. Even though I have worked for MercyMe for about six years now, I have never been out on the road with them, and this was a great opportunity for me to know “that” side of what I do from my home office every day. And since the Roadshow is only in its second year of existence, it was a good time for me to go and establish some organization to the accounting side of the tour. Right up my alley since my middle name is organization…or Denise…or whatever.

I immediately started planning for this awesome opportunity by…what else, buying some new jeans and a pair of Converse. For the past several weeks I’ve been going back and forth in my head…I’m excited about this opportunity…what the heck do I think I’m doing?…it could be fun…that’s a long time to be away from home…I’ll get to be in alot of places I’ve never been…Gina, you’re 46, you do not need to be sleeping on a bus! So it’s been like that for a while. And here I am…46 years old, living on a bus (a nice bus), going through 24 different states in 6 weeks…and getting to play a part in a great ministry!

I want to document my experience, especially for my kiddos to enjoy reading what I’m doing every day. Today was Day 2 of rehearsals for the 7 different bands that are out on this tour. I flew to Nashville with the MercyMe guys and arrived about 2:00 today. Most of you know…flying…not my most favorite thing to do, but I was prayed up and had lots of people who “know” me praying too. It was a great flight…uneventful, but I have to say I am paranoid about people and behaviors on planes. I sat next to some French people, who were quite pleasant, and spoke mostly in French. I guess there were quite a few of them who knew each other on the plane, and they kept getting out of their seats going and talking with each other. I wanted to scream at them that “the Fasten Seatsbelts sign is on for a reason people!!”, but I managed to refrain from yelling on the airplane…for the sake of being labeled as the crazy lady on Aisle 23.

We arrived in Nashville and went straight to the rehearsal warehouse. Here’s where the horror stories I’ve heard from the crew start coming to life…as far as the cleanliness of the facilities go. Let me just say…the bathrooms…not pleasant. I’m caught up on my shots though…so I think I’m good. I worked most of the day while listening to rehearsals…love to work during the creative process!

The buses pulled out of Nashville at midnight, and here I am. Trying to walk straight on a moving vehicle…trying not to think about whether I’ll be able to sleep on a moving vehicle. I’m pretty tired, so I’m not too worried.

I’m missing my Mr. McWonderful tonight and my sweet punks. They are away on a little vacation too…mountain biking in different scenery…and they are so excited. When we decided to do away with our home phone, and decided to add Caleb on to our mobile account...I never knew it would bring me to tears.

Tomorrow morning I wake up in Indianapolis, IN. for the first show of the tour. There’s excitement in the air with a new tour starting. Praying for God to show up at each and every arena…and that He’ll be glorified in everything that happens.

P.S. Francesca Battistelli is on my bus right now.

P.S.S. David Crowder is much taller in person than he looks in pictures.

P.S.S.S. The MercyMe band guys told me there would be days on this tour when I wouldn’t take a shower or want to change clothes. I hope to prove them wrong.

P.S.S.S.S. I hope I don't fall out of my bunk tonight.

Quotes of the Week

Last Saturday night we were spending some time together all piled up in our bed getting ready for bedtime prayers. Lately during our nighttime prayers with the punks, we have been choosing one specific thing to pray for. This helps them really focus on what they're praying about and keeps them from praying the same prayer over and over...the one that rolled off their tongue in memorized form and if they got out of order they had to start over?.... yeah, that prayer.

Anyway, that night we were specifically praying about something that might be happening in the near future that would entail some time away from home for me. There hasn't been a definite decision about it yet, so we were praying that God will work out all the details if He wants it to happen.

Caleb's prayer was that if I go, I would be safe. Of. Course. Because Caleb is soooooo my son, and he definitely has alot of my characteristics, and that's one thing I pray about alot too. Anyway, Mr. McRecognize.that.someone.might.be.anxious thought it would be fun to play a game of competition between the punks naming stories in the Bible where God miraculously saved someone's life or kept them safe. Do you see how brilliant this man is? I heart him.

So Caleb started and named I think Jonah and the whale. Then Cody went and named Daniel in the lions den. They went back and forth each getting a count to twenty to name the next one. Pretty easy at first, but getting more difficult with each passing turn.

And with that introduction, I give you "Quotes of the Week:"

With his chest puffed out at his turn, Cody proclaimed "Meshach, Reshack and Abednego."

At one point when his time was quickly running out, Caleb exclaimed "the crossing of that sea! What color was it?!"

Cody, impatiently waiting his turn while Caleb is thinking of his answer: "Ohhh! I've got two! Holy crap I'm good."

Run as Fast as You Can

If you read my last post you read that God has been working in Steve's and my heart about a country that He keeps putting in our path. I have a story to share about that, but it's still being written. One day I was doing some research...searching out mission organizations that reach out to that country and I was led to Buckner International. I hadn't heard about or thought of Buckner in many years, but I did know the name. When I was little, I remember, although with very little clarity, that my parents 'adopted' a teenage girl named Julie from Buckner. From what I remember, we only had her on weekends because she went to school either at or near Buckner, but I vividly remember the old red brick building.

Anyway, poking around on Buckner's website, I found one of their ministries called Shoes for Orphan Souls (SOS). The more I read, the more I was interested...especially since they minister to the country that holds a piece of my heart. I told Steve about it and he fell in love with it too...enough that he has spent many hours volunteering there in the last several months on his days off.

This past Saturday a group of people we share Sunday morning small group with went with our families to SOS to volunteer. We were excited to finally be able to take the boys this time... except that Caleb ended up being sick so he couldn't go.

This place melts me. I'm not gonna lie. It's just shoes...boxes and boxes full of shoes. Athletic shoes, boots, sandles and more placed in large box bins lined along the walls of a warehouse.

But when I pick up a pair of shoes and think of the child who's going to receive that pair of shoes, I melt and realize it's not just shoes.

"According to The State of the World's Children as reported by Unicef, there are 148 million orphans around the world. Orphanages do not receive enough funding to support the children in their care. One of the greatest and most immediate needs is a pair of shoes. Many of the children receive one pair of shoes to last the entire year, and some don't have shoes at all." Shoes for Orphan Souls collects shoes, sorts them, and then distributes them to children in need in 68 countries all over the world. I love the simple, yet gigantic measure. Shoes can give a child hope and a smile.

As I volunteered to pack boxes full of athletic shoes to prepare for shipping, I, of course, gravitated towards the boys shoes.

And as I held a pair of size 3 running shoes in my hands, I couldn't help but think about the little boy who would open up his dirty little hands to receive this pair of shoes...hurriedly put them on his dusty little feet and look up with the biggest smile on his sweet little face. I can imagine that he will run and play for hours on end...possibly days on end...just soaking up the feeling of how fast he can run. And he will have hope...and a smile.

And what it did for this boy? Well, I can only hope it gave him a small reason to be thankful and to fall in love with helping others a little more.

This will move you.

This is Me Not Planning

Oh sweet internet, I have missed you. Here it is the 12th day of 2010...a new year, and I haven’t seen you in many months. Well that’s not totally true. I haven’t seen MY blog in many months...I have seen plenty of others. And honestly, I don't feel ready to write today because I feel like I need to close out 2009 first before I can begin 2010 (could that be the accounting brain of mine?). I didn’t finish 2009...and I had so many other stories I wanted to tell and so many more pictures I wanted to share. But I guess I let my perfectionism get in the way of the true enjoyment of just sitting down and writing. I wanted all the stories to be in chronological order...and so I kept putting off writing a new story because I hadn’t written the old. I’m guessing this is why many people stop blogging all together. They pause...and then get overwhelmed at the need for orderly succession. I’m that kind of person. I’m stepping off the ledge here people...trying to be more spontaneous.

So first let me start with...Hi, my name is Gina. And I am a perfectionist and an orderly person. I like spreadsheets and check-off lists (this is where you say in unison “Welcome, Gina”). Today, I will start writing again and not even apologize for the fact that I didn’t finish blogging about 2009. I will write what I feel and post pictures of my punks doing and saying crazy things...and be okay with the missing data. (I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.)

A new year always brings with it a review of the old year...what hurt, what made me happy, what I wish I could take back, and what I wish I would have done a couple more times. And then there’s the Resolutions...that will inevitably get broken by Day 2...usually. It seemed like January 1st came and went so fast this year that I didn’t even consider making any Resolutions...just as well. They would have just forced me to make yet another checklist of things I am currently working on, and things that I need to do in the future. Another checklist to check things off of. {Sigh.}

I know God made me the way I am, but I also know that satan can use perfectionism to keep me from taking risks, dreaming dreams and doing hard things simply because I get bogged down with the details...the planning...the totally leaving God out of the picture. And just like every other year, I want 2010 to be a year of stepping out of my comfort zone...off the ledge, and for me to look more like Him at the end.

Our family is planning a trip this year as an exploratory trip...to find out how God wants to use us. As of right now, we do not have a date, reservations, airplane tickets, or even a specific destination city. We just know we’re supposed to go. We have no idea what God is going to show us when we get there. I’m a little afraid. Scared of what He may be calling us to do. I’m also scared not to go because God is stirring my heart so much for this place. I don’t want to end up one day with the regret of not obeying God and missing all the blessings He has for us.

And I don’t want to live my life just checking things off a list. I want to be fearless, brave and excited to face the unknown. I feel like I should be wearing a cape right now. And maybe a cute pair of boots.

“This is God's Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” Jeremiah 33:2-3