School Daze

Well, it was finally here. The first day of school…or the “torture chamber” as BOTH my boys put it. Oh, they so know how to get a rise out of me. Cody did not want me to walk him into class (shocker), but Caleb was still open to it…but NO hugs or kisses mom (again, shocker). By this morning (third day of school), as I pulled up to drop them off, I said my normal, “have a great day…I love you!” And this is what I heard, “…..” Right, nothing. Oh, they were talking between themselves about “we don’t have to go to the gym first” and “what time is your lunch?”, and then the door slams. Nice. I guess I should be happy they weren’t yelling at each other or crying that they didn’t want to go. They are both happy with their teachers, classes, etc. Haven’t heard any negatives yet…except that the 6th grade is not organized enough to go to recess yet. :(

Over the weekend, I felt anxious about school starting…more than the boys and I wasn’t sure why. I think I’ve narrowed it down to the fact that during that first week of school, I will see her. You know “her”…Perfect Mom…and I will feel a little less than adequate at this job of motherhood. I love this description of “her” in the book Your Boy by Vicki Courtney:

“You know her—she started the phonics tapes when her child was in utero, documents every momentous occasion, including first breath, first tear, first tooth, first haircut, first tantrum, first time-out, and first everything-that-follows, with volumes of scrapbooks. Her kids’ socks are whiter than other kids’ socks, and their lunches include something from each of the four food groups. Every item of clothing they own is initialed or monogrammed and has a clean fresh smell. Her kids are well groomed, polite, and say “nice to meet you” on cue while your kids duke it out on the front lawn and scream “shut up” and “stupid” loud enough for everyone within a two-mile radius to hear. Her children never have snotty noses, belch in public, or wear their shoes on the wrong feet. You can’t remember the last time your kids even wore shoes. Supermom’s house is sparkling clean, and always sports a piney fresh scent. She is PTA president, drives on every field trip, and still has time for the gym. She has enough energy at the end of the day to make one wonder if she is doing espresso shots every couple of hours. She is the mom we love to hate…”

Why does this woman bother me? Because I’m human…and because no matter how hard I might try, I could never measure up to that. I’m doing good to make sure the boys have clean socks…much less “white” socks. Seriously, aren’t there five food groups instead of four? My house might have a piney fresh scent if Abby eats pinecones before she farts. What is this “energy” you speak of? Oh sure her kids never have snotty noses, but do they know about the booger cycle? And, no, my toenail polish isn’t chipping off…that’s the new style.

So to all you “imperfect” mothers out there…I salute you. We’ve mastered another first day of school. And have I done everything I intended to do to make sure the week went off without a hitch? Heck no…but the world is still revolving. There is still laundry to be done…dog hair to be vacuumed up, school forms to be completed, more supplies to be bought…and scrapbook pages to be created.

Now, where did I put that chocolate?