Happy 50th Anniversary

Today is my parents' 50th wedding anniversary...September 25, 1959. I don't know if you grasp the colossal feat that is these days...but that just doesn't happen much anymore. Thank you mom and dad for putting up with each other, for putting the other one ahead of yourself, for sacrificing for each other, for loving each other...and for commitment. Commitment even when you were unlovely...commitment even when it didn't seem worth it...commitment even when the odds were stacked against you.

A few things you might not know about my parents:

*Both of their dads had to go with them to get their marriage license because they were both underage...but NOT pregnant.

*Mom originally wanted 12 children. I thank you Daddy for putting your foot down on that one.

*Dad burned the end of my mom's nose with the push-in cigarette lighter while on a date.

*They went to the thriving resort at Turner Falls for their honeymoon.

*They have lived in 15 houses/apts. in their 50 years of marriage.

We celebrated their anniversary on a cruise a few weeks ago, and we will be celebrating again in a few weeks at a party. They are celebrating today by themselves in Galveston...enjoying each other's company just like they have for 50 years. They not only love each other, but they like each other...and that may just be the key.

Mom and Dad, I love you...and I thank you for giving me and my sisters a stable home life...and for never making us wonder if you'd be together forever. I'd really love it if you'd go another 50.

We've Reached a New Low

Excuse me while I get on my soap box, but I really need to get something off my chest…and since it is my blog, I think I’ll do it here. If you don’t want to hear the rant…it’d be best to move on now.

Since when did coaches become so “win at all cost?” I’m really, really sick to death of it.

Caleb is playing football for the Optimists this year. There were no open spots on the team where most of his friends from school play on, so I just signed him up and they placed him on a team that needed more players. Fine…I have no problem with him meeting new kids, us meeting new adults, etc. Everything seemed well organized…we were enjoying the practices…Caleb is loving playing…so everything was going well until…at last Saturday’s game, Steve was asked to be a monitor which is basically someone who counts plays. You see in Optimist rules, every player must play at least 9 plays each half. So basically you have 2 guys for each team…one calling out numbers, the other circling plays so that each player can get their allotted plays in. This is done so that every kid can get playing time and learn the game…RIGHT? I mean that’s why I signed Caleb up for football…he wanted to play, he wanted to learn how, and the coaches sign up to teach them, right? No…wrong. I realize I am generalizing to the inth degree and that there are a lot of good coaches out there, but sadly, this is not our first experience with it…and I’m just ticked that ELEMENTARY sports has come to this.

So Steve was doing his thing last Saturday…circling plays while the other guy with him is calling out jersey numbers. Steve is keeping the coach informed of what players still need to get in plays all during the half…but the coach is not putting in those players. And because 7 players did not get in enough plays during the first half, those players got to play the entire second half…it’s the rules. I’m glad…because you know what? Those parents…the parents of the 7 players? They paid the same amount of registration fee, bought the same uniforms, have sweated their butts off at the same practices, and purchased spirit wear…just like the coaches’ sons…and just like the coaches’ friends’ sons who have played every play. And do you know what else? Those kids…those 7 kids? They all have the desire to play…they want to play, they want to learn, they want their parents to see them run with the ball or tackle another player. Most of them don’t care if they win or lose…they just want to play and have fun.

This coach had the audacity to come up to Steve after the game and say “hey man, sometimes you just have to circle some numbers whether they play or not. Everyone does it. It’s okay.” Oh, you mean, everyone cheats so that the favored players can play as much as the coaches want them to and so it will stop being about learning a game and having fun, but it all becomes about winning at all cost? You mean that? First of all, he is seriously barking up the wrong tree if he thinks Steve would ever do that. I’m surprised Steve was able to keep his composure and walk away from the man. I’m actually surprised the man still has eyebrows after the look Steve game him. Needless to say, I’m sure Steve will never be asked to monitor a game again.

Please tell me that our society hasn’t come to this…that winning is more important than having fun with other kids playing a fun game. I’m not talking about not keeping score…I totally agree with keeping score and kids having to learn how to win and lose. That’s not it. And I am not talking about sports in upper grades like High School and College. I don’t have a problem with that being about a kid’s ability, or lack thereof because there are scholarships being handed out for that. But people, I am talking about elementary kids…6, 7, 8, 10 years old!

Most parents put their kids in sports to learn…learn the game, the rules, strategies, sportsmanship, winning and losing…and most parents desperately want their kids to have fun and get some exercise. There is nothing better than seeing a kid beaming about the catch he just made…or the tackle…or the ball he just hit…or the homerun he just made. And when you’re a grown up, you really don’t think back about your sports experience in elementary and think “we were top dog” or “we beat every team.” Because at that point, NO ONE REALLY CARES if you won every one of your elementary games…seriously (sorry to shout, but it's true). You know what you remember? How much fun you had playing with your friends. Throwing the ball around to each other…tackling each other…sharing bubble gum and peanuts with your teammates, making goofy faces for pictures, and having snacks after the game.

I played softball and basketball when I was in elementary school. I can honestly say when I think about those days, I couldn’t tell you how many games we won. We were the Cottontails (the mighty, mighty Cottontails)and as you can tell by the name, we were good and we won plenty…but I didn’t keep count. And the trophies? They’re dusty and dirty and in a rubbermaid container high on a shelf in a storage shed. But I do remember I played with some of my best friends and we had so much fun in the dugout and on the bench…and playing around at practice…and going to get ice cream with everyone after a game. I remember crying after losing a softball tournament we were so close in winning…but the tears stopped soon after when I got to spend the night with one of my friends from the team.

When I see what I see these days, I think it really matters more to the testosterone-driven coaches than the players whether they win or not…because they make decisions based on what they think will make the team win at all costs. I love to win as much as the next person, but not at the cost of cheating a player out of their plays, at the cost of a kid feeling inadequate…at the cost of a kid’s self-esteem. Because that hurts...it really hurts.

“A Coach's Guide to Developing Self-Esteem”…Individual and team performance is directly related to how an athlete feels about him/herself. Your athletes will learn faster, perform better and have fewer performance problems when you help them feel good about themselves. (competitiveedge.com)

Wow, thank you. I feel much better after getting that off my chest.

9/11: Remembering

Yesterday I was a complete emotional wreck all day. I'm sure most of this was attributed to the fact that we had just returned from an amazing, completely exhilerating cruise to celebrate my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary... with all of my family and lots of friends. I was exhausted and a little disappointed to have to come back to the real world... but it was more than that. It was raining most of the day which didn't help the mood...but even more than that. There was a black cloud in my spirit that I couldn't shake...and I finally realized that it was due in large part to remembering 9/11 eight years ago. It still feels so raw to me...even though I lost no one I knew that day. It was just such a sad day for our country.


Eight years ago on 9/11, Steve and I woke up so excited for the day. This day we were closing on our first home...a house we had been waiting on for several months while they finished the construction.

We had a couple of errands to run before our 10 a.m. closing time and we were eager to get going. The boys were 2 and 4, so we were dropping them at their mother's day out program before running our errands so they could play. Since our current house was packed and the refrigerator empty, we ran by Kroger to get some lunchables for them. Steve went in the store while I waited in the car with the boys, and I will never forget the look on his face when he returned to the car. While in the store, everyone was huddled around a TV watching the terror unfold. At that time, only one tower had been hit.

He left the radio on while he whispered to me what was happening and I remember the pit in my stomach as he told me what he had seen. As we drove the boys to their center, I went back and forth as to whether or not I wanted them away from me that day. I finally decided that I would rather them be there playing...away from the news and media, and so we dropped them off...gave them kisses and hugs and headed straight to a store with televisions where we could watch the story. As we stood with hundreds of other people staring at another plane hit the second tower, we knew America would never be the same again...we would never be the same again.

We finally had to leave for our closing and felt such bittersweet feelings as we signed the papers. Joy at having a new home for our family, and yet complete and utter sorrow at so many people in our nation losing loved ones. While I wanted to stay glued to the TV all day, we couldn't...which was probably one of the best things that could have happened as I look back. We had furniture being delivered at the new house, and we had to meet people at our old house to begin moving stuff.

I will forever be grateful to many friends who no doubt would have rather been with their families that day but instead came to help us move. And that evening, others, who we didn't know that well, came to help us unpack boxes and organize. A friendship bloomed and they remain some of our best friends to this day. Our kids played together, running and jumping in empty bedrooms, and remained oblivious to the sad events of the day...and we unpacked boxes, stopping to cry every once in a while.


Yesterday, while I watched recaps of the day eight years ago, I again felt the sadness of so many women and men becoming widows and widowers, and so many children losing a parent. And my heart was broken. And yet today I woke up with a renewed thankfulness for family, country, friends and the fact that God is still in control.

Because That's the Kind of Friend I Am

Since I will be out of 'pocket' the next several days doing things that I most assuredly will tell you all about upon my return...I thought you deserved something to look at while you're here.

This is what happens when the punks both sign up to learn instruments the same year. You're welcome.