9/11: Remembering

Yesterday I was a complete emotional wreck all day. I'm sure most of this was attributed to the fact that we had just returned from an amazing, completely exhilerating cruise to celebrate my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary... with all of my family and lots of friends. I was exhausted and a little disappointed to have to come back to the real world... but it was more than that. It was raining most of the day which didn't help the mood...but even more than that. There was a black cloud in my spirit that I couldn't shake...and I finally realized that it was due in large part to remembering 9/11 eight years ago. It still feels so raw to me...even though I lost no one I knew that day. It was just such a sad day for our country.


Eight years ago on 9/11, Steve and I woke up so excited for the day. This day we were closing on our first home...a house we had been waiting on for several months while they finished the construction.

We had a couple of errands to run before our 10 a.m. closing time and we were eager to get going. The boys were 2 and 4, so we were dropping them at their mother's day out program before running our errands so they could play. Since our current house was packed and the refrigerator empty, we ran by Kroger to get some lunchables for them. Steve went in the store while I waited in the car with the boys, and I will never forget the look on his face when he returned to the car. While in the store, everyone was huddled around a TV watching the terror unfold. At that time, only one tower had been hit.

He left the radio on while he whispered to me what was happening and I remember the pit in my stomach as he told me what he had seen. As we drove the boys to their center, I went back and forth as to whether or not I wanted them away from me that day. I finally decided that I would rather them be there playing...away from the news and media, and so we dropped them off...gave them kisses and hugs and headed straight to a store with televisions where we could watch the story. As we stood with hundreds of other people staring at another plane hit the second tower, we knew America would never be the same again...we would never be the same again.

We finally had to leave for our closing and felt such bittersweet feelings as we signed the papers. Joy at having a new home for our family, and yet complete and utter sorrow at so many people in our nation losing loved ones. While I wanted to stay glued to the TV all day, we couldn't...which was probably one of the best things that could have happened as I look back. We had furniture being delivered at the new house, and we had to meet people at our old house to begin moving stuff.

I will forever be grateful to many friends who no doubt would have rather been with their families that day but instead came to help us move. And that evening, others, who we didn't know that well, came to help us unpack boxes and organize. A friendship bloomed and they remain some of our best friends to this day. Our kids played together, running and jumping in empty bedrooms, and remained oblivious to the sad events of the day...and we unpacked boxes, stopping to cry every once in a while.


Yesterday, while I watched recaps of the day eight years ago, I again felt the sadness of so many women and men becoming widows and widowers, and so many children losing a parent. And my heart was broken. And yet today I woke up with a renewed thankfulness for family, country, friends and the fact that God is still in control.