I Will Be Better by Tuesday

Dear Cody & Caleb,

In the morning, I will once again stand outside a bus, and wave to you through a tinted window as the bus pulls away headed to church camp. Although I will be holding up my “I love you” sign language, you will wave quickly because not only is it totally not cool to act like you are going to miss your mom, you also have way more important things on your mind. Like getting to the dorm first to get best pick of the bunk beds…and getting your swimsuit on so you can be the first to the lake. You might even make it your mission to be the first to get “blobbed” from your group this week…or decide which candy you will eat your weight in this week from the snack shack.

I, on the other hand, will be quiet for a long time on Monday. Daddy will do his best to take my mind off you leaving, but I will have no part of it for the better part of the morning. I will be quiet, and pray, and cry and hope.

I will be quiet because a part of me is missing this week…and it will be all too silent around the house. I will miss you telling me jokes, and asking me to take you to Six Flags EVERY day. I will miss every little thing that I take for granted on a daily basis…and I will commit to never taking those for granted again.

I will pray because you are being driven there on a big bus by a total stranger in whom I have just entrusted to get you there and back safely…and yet I know that that driver is not in control of your safety. I will pray because I believe there is no better time in a child’s life to hear from God than at camp…and I want that for you.

I will cry because…well, because that’s just what I do…and when I think about this being the last year for "children's" camp for one of you, it gives me one more reminder about how fast you are growing up.

And I will hope…more than anything, I will hope. I hope you will laugh until your belly hurts. I hope you will sing with no thought of who is listening. I hope you will have so much fun that it’s hard to sleep at night. I hope that when you see someone who needs a friend, you will be a friend. I hope for you to be listening…really listening when God whispers in your ear…hope that when you feel led, you will act…, and most of all, hope that you will never, ever be the same again.

Love,
Mama