Letter to Me 29 Years Ago

Dear 16 Year Old Gina,

I wish you could see the future...to know what is to come. That way you'd know what to avoid, what to spend your time doing, what to make important in your life.

That friend that creates drama in your life over and over again...just know, it's going to be okay. She will move on to other girls she can control and feel powerful over, and you will meet great friends that you want to spend the rest of your life spending time with, laughing with, crying with, seeing chick flicks with, and eating cookies with. You'll share the births of your children together, the deaths of your loved ones together, and the highs and lows of being parents.

And that boy you are soooo crazy about...wow, I wish I could stop you. You're so going to wish you had been honest with yourself about what you were seeing. But once again, you will eventually... and someday you'll be holding hands with the sweetest guy on earth and he's going to love you, and protect you and take care of you forever. He's going to put you first in his life, and let me tell you, you'll be glad you didn't let the age thing get in the way of happiness.

And the good life you wanted...you are so going to have it. Not in the way you dreamed about necessarily back then, but so much better. You're not going to care about money near as much as how much you're going to love being a mom. It's hard to believe, but you're not going to be so selfish anymore, and you're going to think about them before yourself...and that's such a good thing. Your kids are going to bring you so much happiness you'll be set for life.

I cannot tell you everything will be roses...it won't. You're going to go through some things and hear some words that will hurt so bad you don't think you can recover, but you will. Your faith will see you through the rough spots...and you'll be stronger for it. I wish I could save you from some of the repercussions from the bad decisions you're going to make, but then you wouldn't be shaped into the person God meant for you to be.

And you just thought you knew and loved God then. Wait until you see Him for all He is...over and over again. Wait until He forgives you... and restores you over and over again. Wait, just wait, until He proves He is King and in control over and over again.

You're going to be more thankful, and grateful, and feel loved...so loved. So hold on...hold on for a bumpy ride knowing that you're going to come out of all this okay. More than okay really...happy and fulfilled. And that's going to mean so much more than the things that you think matter today.

Love,
45 Year Old Gina