The "J" Story

This year, since March, three of my friends have passed away…Judi, Jennifer, and Jessica. These three ladies had many things in common…all were young (30’s and 40’s), all wives, mothers of young children, loved God with all their heart, and left this earth way before we were ready to let them go.

As a mother, I can say with reasonable certainty that their children’s future was probably the most pressing thing on their mind at the end. I remember spending a few moments with Judi who knew her hours were numbered. I remember thinking what a huge task to try to think of everything you want them to know in the little time you have left. As I held her hand and whispered to her “we will be there for them,” I could tell that was what consumed her right then. She wasn't fearful for herself...she knew where she was going, but she was sorrowful for her baby. She wanted to know he was going to be okay. She knew he needed her.

Tonight at the funeral home, I was talking with Sandy about a conversation she had with Jessica in which Jessica outlined some very specific things she wanted for her girls. Among them was that she wanted to make sure they didn’t wear winter clothes in the summer and vice versa, and that their hair looked nice. She wanted to make sure they always had birthday celebrations. She also wanted to make sure they didn’t wear pants with a word on the back like “Hot” or “Juicy.” Good call Jessica. Above all, she said she wanted her girls to be Godly.

We all want to know our children are going to be okay without us. I’ve thought a lot about that lately…what I would want them to know if I’m not here. It’s not that I don't know that God is able and He would walk every step with them and meet every need they have. And it's not because I don’t think that their father is capable because I know he is a great dad and would totally be able to care for them and love them...and they would grow up to be fine, healthy men.

But because they need Me. They need their mommy to kiss their boo-boos, and hold their hand when they cross the street. They need someone to ask "does this match?" and someone to tell them to put on their coat. They need someone they can cry with when their pet runs away or dies and they just can’t be strong. They need me to help them finish their school project and take pictures of them with it when it's complete. They need someone to talk about girls with...and someone to tell when they fall in love for the first time. They need someone who will cry with them when they have their first broken heart. They need Me.

We can't help it...it's put in us at the precise moment of conception, or adoption in Judi’s case,...that protectiveness of a mother. We begin to think like a mother...we become warriors in a way...willing to fight and provide for our babies. Their needs outweigh ours....their wants supersede ours. They need us.

I think if Judi, Jennifer & Jessica were here tonight, they would tell their kids this:

*God is still on the throne and is in control of Everything. Your sustenance will come from Him.

*There will never be another Me, but there will be others who can meet your needs. Let them.

*It’s okay to cry when you hurt.

*When you have a bad day, hold on. Things will look better tomorrow.

*Jesus can bear your load.

*Don’t sweat the small stuff.

*Kisses and chocolate can cure lots of things.

*It’s okay to run in church.

*Trust

*Forgive

*Live like there’s no tomorrow. Love extravagantly. Lead a life to be followed.

*Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

The mother in me is grieving for these precious children. Would you join me in praying specifically for Jared, Jonathan, Katelyn, Jadyn and Bryn? Would you also please stand in the gap for their fathers, Jay, Scott and Jake, …for the strength to endure the tremendous job ahead of them?

Signs

Signs that you are a baseball mom:




I would suggest never reaching your hand down in my purse for anything. You are sufficiently warned.

We Need More Spelling Tests in America

I wish criminals would learn how to spell ... i before e people, i before e!!!

Robbers

In our house, every bad guy is a robber. This has been the term used for bad guys since the boys were very young and started being interested in their daddy's job. Every day when he would come home they would ask him if he caught any robbers.

This morning the boys and I were discussing the fact that their cousin had his window busted out of his truck last night. Cody asked if they caught the guys who did it, and I said no. Then he said, "they have got to start catching those robbers." Yeah, they do.

KAYNONBALL!!!

A couple of years ago, Caleb asked Jesus into his heart. His dad and I knelt beside him on his bed as he made the most important decision of his life. He has been too "shy" or scared or anxious, I'm not really sure what, of getting baptized until this year after he came home from camp. We were of course thrilled that he had made that decision. We went through the obligatory baptism instruction class in the pastor's office where the baptisees (?) let the pastor shoot questions at them and where the parents sit nervously and hope and pray they answer all the questions right and don't bring up all sorts of things that could be used against them in future sermons. I was proud...Caleb answered all the questions 'correctly'...I guess we're in!

So a couple of weeks ago, Caleb got baptized and there's nothing like that feeling of watching your child be obedient to God.

A few days before baptism day, we were discussing it in the car...and he told Cody he was going to wear just his swimsuit (without a shirt) and was going to stand at the top of the baptistry stairs and jump in 'cannonball' style and yell "KAYNONBALL" which is the way this little Texan pronounces it when he's jumping into a pool. They laughed and laughed about how it would splash all the choir people. I have to admit I was a little relieved when he came out in more than just his swimsuit and walked down the stairs, although deep down inside I would have liked to see him pull that off.

The Great State Fair of Texas

Yesterday we took the boys out of school a little early to go to the Fair.

*As an aside, as we were driving to the Fair, I was pointing out how pretty the Dallas skyline is, and their daddy pointed out that this was the best part of the skyline in Dallas...

Yes, that's the Lew Sterrett Justice Center (the Dallas jail) and he noted how awesome it was that they were adding on to it. :)

The boys (all three of them) absolutely LOVE the Fair...I love it to an extent. I'm not really that in to crowds...I gotta have my space and during certain times of the Fair and in certain places, that just doesn't happen. But aside from that, it was a fun day. One of our favorites is the petting zoo...I love those little animals, but the giraffe was chewing some of the nastiest spit I've ever seen and it was dripping from his mouth...Yuk! The baby piglets were soooo cute...Caleb got bitten by both the baby pig and the ostrich this year.

And one of the most amazing things to see every year, and one that makes me re-think bacon:

And one of the boys' favorites...and one of my most frightening...

Big Tex seemed smaller to me this year...I don't know why...

The Fair just isn't without...

This was the "one" ride the boys chose to ride...

This was the ride AFTER Caleb decided his stomach hurt too bad to ride this and asked to get off before it started...

And because Caleb got off the ride, they gave him his tickets back and he decided to play a game instead...

"Carneys" are people I would not normally think of as 'generous', but after Caleb played the game where you throw the ball at the 3 milk jugs (painted cinder blocks in the shape of milk jugs), and knocked down only 2 each time, we began to walk away. He called Caleb back and said "one more ball", and held his hand in front of the milk jugs. Caleb threw again, hit his hand, and the guy knocked the jugs over with his hand and exlaimed "WINNER." He then takes this huge car down and gives it to Caleb. It was one of the genuinely nicest things I've ever seen displayed, and I will forever see "carneys" different now. And I was thankful this happened near the end of the day so we didn't have to lug this thing around for hours.

Here was Big Tex' sand box...

Once again...a great day at the greatest State Fair of Texas!

Too Many Rocks

It's been a long, dry spell. Do you ever have those? When there's nothing, I mean nothing filling your well? That's how I have felt lately...thus no posts for quite some time. Not that there hasn't been a million funny things the boys have said, and several new pet tales that need to be told...I just couldn't write.

I feel somewhat obligated to be witty, creative, and forthcoming in my blog. That's me...and it comes across pretty much just like I would say it in person. But I feel dry...and I know why. I just haven't wanted to admit it.

Several years ago in a Bible study I was doing, we were given the imagery of walking along a path, pulling a wagon, and stopping and picking up stones. The stones were beautiful and good, and some were meant for me, but some didn't belong to me...they belonged to other people. But because I was there anyway and I was afraid they wouldn't get picked up by anyone else, I picked them up. It's just one stone...what could it hurt? By the time I got to the end of the path to meet God, He had treasure for me...for my wagon. But I didn't have any room in the wagon because I had filled it full of other people's stones. That's where I've been lately...picking up stones meant for other people's wagons. They were all good and right, but not meant for me to have.

It's tough deciphering...I know life is short. There is battle to be won in the world...and I feel the need to do all I can to be in that fight. I don't want to stand on the sidelines and let opportunities go by. Yet that's one of the neatest things about God...that He created all of us with unique talents, abilities and passions and when we all use them as He meant for us to, the battle is fought. But we get busy doing things...getting bogged down in things that are not for us, it makes us completely ineffective. You know...jack of all trades, master of none?

Is there a gift you've been given you're not using? Is there a talent you've been given but you're not displaying? Are you passionate about something but you manage to keep it quiet? Life is short.

And for those of you who have picked up too many stones, lay them down. Your load will be much lighter.